BEHIND EVERY PAIN THERE IS PLEASURE, AND BEHIND EVERY PLEASURE THERE IS PAIN
Do you know that every experience a man has gained has always been pleasurable? Even the severest pain has pleasure in it. Here is a new proposition. Write it to all the psychiatrists in America. They need to learn that behind every pain there is pleasure, and behind every pleasure there is pain, always. A woman goes through hell giving birth to a child. The pain is so unbearable to her, and yet after the baby is born, the pleasure that comes with the creation of this lovely life, pulsating there in the arms, is great pleasure. How does it nullify the pain? That pleasurable impression outweighs the pain that was felt, and that is why, in a year or two, or three or four years later, she would not say no to having another baby. What does she remember? What impression has been left strongly? Not of the pain, but the pleasure of having the child. If the impression of the pain was stronger than the pleasure attained, then a woman will never have another child again. Likewise, in every circumstance, even if a person is ill in bed for a few days, when you get better, do you know how beautiful you feel? You feel beautiful because that beauty, that nice feeling, has now been accentuated by the pain you went through, so there too the impression of the pleasure is stronger.
THAT WHICH IS TEMPORARY CAN NEVER PRODUCE ANYTHING WHICH IS PERMANENT
In every experience man has, there is always an overbalance of pleasure. There is always that little bit extra on the credit side of pleasure, and that is why you cling to your ego. That is why you do not want to lose the ego. It is like a fish that swims in the river, thirsty. Or you are standing at the riverside, dying of thirst, thinking of these little pleasures, when there is bliss there for you to attain, to have, which is your own nature. What a great sacrifice?
Actually, it is foolish to stick to these little pleasures and then forget or ignore the great bliss that is there, because all pleasures and all pains are temporary, and they are temporary because they are of the mind, and the mind is temporary. That which is temporary could never produce anything which is permanent, while bliss is permanency. And once one tastes bliss, once one has the taste of permanency, then who wants to be impermanent? Then only does man realise that “Ah, I have been chasing rainbows.” Then only does man realise that “That which I took to be real is in reality unreal.”
YOU MUST ALL REACH THE STAGE WHERE A GURU IS NOT NECESSARY ANYMORE
Reality is not known by the mind, but by itself. You feel it. To feel Divinity is an experience, not an analysis. But man has the gift within him that, at a certain moment, he becomes so centred that mind, body and spirit are in such wonderful alignment, even momentarily. Then he feels this yearning, he feels drawn, he feels this bliss. He feels it, and after that feeling he will start yearning more and more and more for it.
That kind of yearning is justified, yet it stems from the mind. Although it stems from the mind, it has a deeper quality, because that yearning does not analyse. Although it is within the framework of the mind, it is beyond analysis. A man loves a woman; he is away from her, and he yearns for her. He is not analysing why he yearns for her. He just yearns. He wants to be with her. He wants that togetherness with her. So that yearning is an experience in itself, although it emanates through the mind.
That experience is self-existing, self-subsisting. So, when we make post-mortems on our experiences, we lose much of the value of the experience. This is necessary in the beginning stages. It is necessary to analyse in the beginning stages when one has genuine experiences. But let the analysis be such that it leads to greater yearning. Let the analysis be such that “Let me have that experience for the experience itself.” Then the ego starts fading away. Then the ego has no rhyme or reason to start interfering, and when the ego stops interfering, then you are really you. Then you have known, in spite of what the outer object has been. And that is how the external guru awakens in you the internal guru.
As I always say, a housewife goes to the supermarket, makes up a list of the things she wants to buy, and after purchasing, she throws the list away. It is not necessary. I want you all to discard me if not in this lifetime, then in the next, or in another two hundred lifetimes. But you must! You must all reach the stage where a guru is no longer necessary. Yes, yes. Oh, you can think back, “Ah, he was a good old chap, you know.” That is fine.
THE REAL TEACHER IS EXISTING WITHIN YOU ALL THE TIME
I do not know how the educational system works in America, but in South Africa you have Standard One, and the child starts off in Kindergarten, then Standard One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, up to Ten, which is Matric, and then from Matric he goes to university. He would have his teachers in all these various standards before he goes to university. When he goes to university, he does not need those primary or secondary school teachers anymore, but he remembers them. We all remember our teachers, do we not? When we were in Standard Two, Three, or Four, we remember Miss So-and-so and Mr So-and-so, who was our maths or geography teacher, or whatever. We remember them, even though they are not needed now. That is what should happen. The stage must be reached where you have discarded those teachers up to Standard Ten, discarded but not forgotten.
And then, when the internal guru is awakened, when man starts knowing himself, his real self, a new set of values develops. Then the external guru, too, becomes unreal. How does the external guru become unreal? How does the external guru become non-existent? Because he has merged with the internal guru. And in the mergence, there is no externality. And then there is a step further. There is no internality either. There is nothing external and nothing internal; it just IS. Where is the outside and where is the inside? It depends where you are standing. Looking through this window, those trees are outside to you, but if you stand at the tree, this would be inside, or this would be outside of the tree. It depends where you stand. And in this spiritual life, totally merged or merged within one’s real self, there is nothing outside; there is nothing inside; it just all IS. It all IS. There are no squares, no triangles, no rectangles and no circles. What a beautiful feeling. That is bliss – how to describe it: there are no words? We can only talk about it, but we have to experience it.
So, when we have these glimpses of being drawn by an infinite force, which the teacher represents, we shall not resist it. We shall not resist. But be drawn to that force, because you are not drawn outside yourself; you are, in reality, drawn within yourself. For where does the real teacher exist? The real teacher exists within you. The one sitting in the chair opposite you is only a projection. It is only a projection. And his body, mind, the bag of bones and skin and flesh, is just as unreal as yours. So, the real teacher exists within you all the time, and the external object is there in the form of the teacher to make you realise that I, in my own right, am a guru. I, in my own right, am self-subsisting. I, in my own right, am self-existing.
YOU CAN NEVER LEARN TO BE A MASTER UNLESS YOU HAVE LEARNED TO BE A SLAVE
For the true teacher teaches you independence, not dependence. In the beginning stages, for the novice, a bit of dependence is needed, where the little school ma’am will guide the infant in the A B Cs. That is needed. So the child is dependent to a certain extent on the teacher for guidance. But after the child has learnt how to read, it will read on its own. Then the teacher does not need to stand behind the child’s back and watch them read. No, and the child will read everything that they want to read, according to their understanding, right from James Hadley Chase to Socrates and Plato. So, the real teaching is to teach a person to become independent. Do not take this literally, because only those who are strong enough to be independent can be so. But those of us who are not strong enough to be independent, let us be dependent. Why not? What is wrong with that? We have been dependent all our lives. Were you not dependent upon your mother to change your nappy for you? Were you not dependent upon your mother to give you your food? Were you not dependent upon your father to earn the bread and beans to feed you or to send you to school? Have you not been dependent upon your teachers? Are you not dependent upon your boss to earn a salary? So why not be dependent upon a guru who teaches you the path to independence? Does it make sense? That is the teaching, that is the way. That is the way to live the life, and that is the truth, and the truth can never, never be changed.
But when that overwhelming feeling arises, do not suppress it. Flow with it, because you can never lose yourself. If you can lose your ego, that is the greatest blessing you could ever have, because regarding yourself as the ego is nothing but false identification. The real identification should be with your real self, your inner self, your permanent self. The immortal soul that the Scriptures talk about all the time, over and over and over again, is your real self. Not these puny little beings that walk this earth and fight and squabble over nothing. Absolutely nothing, really. They do; they do. So, to find this independence, be dependent. You can never be a master unless you have learnt how to be a slave. That is a very old saying. I think it was an old Egyptian saying. You can never learn to be a master unless you have learned to be a slave.
If a young man comes to me and says, “I have ten thousand dollars, or a hundred thousand dollars to start a business” – let us assume it is a clothing business – and he says, “I have got a hundred thousand dollars and I want to start a clothing shop.” You know what I will tell him? I will say, “Sorry, you do not start the shop. Put that hundred thousand away in the bank, in a fixed deposit so you cannot draw from it, and go to work in a shop that sells clothing for three years,” or whatever the case might be, depending upon the capacity and the ability of the young man. “Go and gain the experience. Become a servant of the boss and learn. And when you have learnt enough, then go to open your shop; otherwise not. And if you do it without having the necessary experience, you will just land up in the bankruptcy courts.”
SURRENDER OF THE HEART TO THAT WHICH IS TRUTH
So, you need the experience of dependence to become independent of all kinds of dependency. What is the primary requisite in this dependency? Surrender is the primary requisite. It is a passing phase. It is not something that is held on to permanently. It is temporary. It is meant to be used so that we can rise from dependency to independence. And all forms of dependency have surrender as an ingredient.
What do you surrender? That is the question. You have movements in the world that demand all kinds of surrenders. Our movement does not. Our movement requires one thing only. Surrender of the heart to that which is truth. Other movements might require you to surrender all your estates and your fortunes, and I do not know what all. Cut off your hair, put on orange robes, and all kinds of things like that. And they say, “Oh, well, this is a mark of surrender”. We do not want marks. The American people are supposed to be such brilliant people. No wonder all these movements flourish here so much, and they become multi-millionaire movements, and Americans are such brilliant people.
Our organisation demands surrender of the heart, surrender of the heart in love and devotion, not necessarily to the guru, not necessarily to the teacher, but to the teaching. Is that clear? Not to the teacher, to the teacher, okay, if you wish to, that is your choice. It is not a demand. It is not a demand, nor is it a request or a suggestion. That depends upon your heart. So the best you can do is surrender to the teaching. If you find even a single bit of truth in the teaching, surrender your heart to it, for that will lead you to greater and greater truths. For in reality all truth is one. If you know a bit of truth, you are on the way to knowing the totality of truth, for the totality of truth is contained in that bit of truth. Have an open mind to accept what seems truthful to you for the moment. At least that is a start. Surrender to that teaching by having an open mind. An open mind is always a non-conditioned mind. An open mind is always an unbiased mind. Have no bias. I know the contents of your heart, beautiful, beautiful heart, beautiful. I am happy if you are happy. Your happiness is my happiness always.
… Gururaj Ananda Yogi: Satsang UK 1978 – 07
