EXPECTATION IS THE ROOT OF DISAPPOINTMENT
Faced with disillusionment means that we had expectations, and expectations are the mother of disillusionment, frustration, and all those things associated with it. Everyone will expect something. But what is expectation based upon? It is very easy to say do not expect things, which is a profound metaphysical truth, but human nature is such that they wish.
There are expectations, you cannot get rid of them. You expect your husband to be faithful, your wife to be loyal, this to be that, and that to be that, children to be good, and it does not work out that way.
A person has a business and wants his monthly turnover to be two hundred thousand. He feels disappointed if he does not reach his target. Disappointment is another close relative of disillusionment.
When you learn to accept the situation you are in, that disillusionment will disappear. Acceptance necessarily requires innocence, as innocence is a state of mind that contains purity. When anything is pure, it becomes simple. So even while the expectation is there, it will be simple and therefore reduce the impact of being disillusioned. When the effect of disillusionment is lessened, you will find that in the future, expectations are also lowered. They work in a circle, where one leads to the next, and the next leads to the one.
It is so easy to say ‘accept whatever life gives us,’ but can we truly accept? We have to bring the mind to a much calmer level, and when the mind is at a more relaxed level, we would say, ‘so what.’ I think I have said this before, that there are only two kinds of people who could say, so what: the one who is responsible, and the other who is irresponsible. He just does not care, so he says, ‘So what.’ But the accountable man cares, and yet at the same time, because his mind is in a calmer state, he will say, “Come what may. So what?” And with that state of mind, you do not feel disillusioned, because you were not expecting too much in the first place.
IN THE INNOCENT STATE, THERE IS NO DISILLUSIONMENT
What else can we do to mitigate the impact of expectations, and how can we lessen it? What else can be done? It is by one thought that should always dominate one’s mind, that I will do my best. I will do my very best, and if it works out, fine. If not, I accept that as well. Then there will be no disillusionment. This requires that the innocent state is pure.
Purity has nothing to do with morality. Morality is a human construct and originates from the mind. All moral injunctions come from the mind, and it is these very injunctions that have caused more harm to the world than good, because these produce guilt, and as I have said many times, that guilt is the most significant disease in the world. It is even more severe than cancer or heart disease. Guilt has killed more people and made them more mentally unstable than anything else in the world. But purity is something different. Purity comes from deep within yourself, and when that purity is awakened within yourself through spiritual practices, you will find everything to be good. So, purity goes beyond the law of opposites, while morality is within the law of opposites.
When you go beyond the law of opposites, there is no disillusionment, for everything is good. I expect my child to pass his exam. I will do my best for my child. Create conditions in the home and his environment that will help him pass his exams, and that is the best I can do. If he does not, that is him, and I am not going to feel disillusioned. Because what is the greatest thing I can expect?
DESTINY IS A CONCEPT OF THE MIND
They say you are a master of your destiny. There is some truth in it, but that truth is not well understood. What do we mean by destiny, and you being the master? Is destiny mastering you, or are you mastering destiny? Speaking from a spiritual level, there is no destiny. You come from nowhere and you go nowhere; you are just here. For your spiritual self is always here: eternal, immortal, omnipresent. So, where can you go? How can you master that which is? You do not master it, but you uncover it. So, the very concept of destiny is also a mental concept, and when one indulges in these kinds of ideas of destiny, and you do not reach your goal, you feel disillusioned. So when we enter the area of purity that is within ourselves, we find everything to be good.
WHAT IS THE REALITY OF LIFE
A man goes to the races and loses a thousand dollars, and he will come home feeling terrible. I know a man who borrowed money to go to the races to gamble, and he lost it all. He was so sure that he was going to win, so when he lost, he had a heart attack. I was called up to the hospital where I had to treat him. He said it came from the horse’s mouth, so he could not lose. So that expectation brought him disillusionment and gave him a heart attack.
You can see how the attitude of the mind plays a significant part in our mental and physical well-being. It has an effect. I will not be disillusioned with anything. Because I am living in an illusion as it is. What is the reality of life? What reality is there? If there is reality, it should be permanent, for reality is always permanent, while this life is transitory. So why should I be disillusioned about anything? We are forty people here; I would like to talk to four hundred. But even if there were only four, I would not feel disappointed, no disillusionment. We are not disillusioned.
When we draw from that inner source, when we draw from that strength, we have that power of mind. Our mind gets lightened up. Not to see the darkness, for disillusionment is darkness. I love a girl very much, and I know that the two of you are highly compatible. There are specific characteristics within both of you that have a significant degree of compatibility. But suppose this girlfriend of mine changes her mind and, for some reason or other, no longer wants me. I will not feel disillusioned—too many fish in the sea. And who knows, I might find someone that is even more compatible and could see things the way I see them, and I could see things the way she sees them. So, there is no disillusionment. You do not lose sleep over it. You do not become miserable.
THE SECRET OF AWARENESS
When I say I am an illusion, what does it mean? You would say I can feel my feet, my knees, my head, and my face. Is that not real? Yes, it is an illusory reality in this field of relativity, because the emphasis is on relativity and not on the absolute. When the emphasis is solely on relativity, I naturally become disillusioned by the things happening in my life. But if my attention is more on the absolute and taking life at its value, then all this must pass, all this must change. Do you know the number of changes that are taking place in your body, even as you are sitting there, and you are not even aware of them? You are not even aware of your heartbeat. You are not aware of your breathing, and as Guruji says, “Take your attention to your breathing.” Therefore, specific motor functions are occurring within us that we are not aware of. Yet, one little thing happening in life, something that is of no importance, makes you feel disillusioned.
The secret of awareness is that I am aware not only of the things that are perceived by the five senses or this little straw head, but I am aware of a great force that is beyond it. That is functioning in totality, allowing you to live on two levels simultaneously.
IN EVERY ADVERSITY THERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY
I was telling a story of two birds in this one tree. The big bird with golden plumage was sitting on the top branch, while the other bird was picking fruits off the branches; some were bitter, and some were sweet. As the fruits became less and less abundant on the lower branches, the bird started climbing higher and higher to reach more fruit, until it reached the top branch and saw the other bird with beautiful plumage. The two birds merged into one. And you realized that the bird that was watching me from up there was me.
So, we require that mergence between the absolute and the relative. For the relative is limited, while the absolute is limitless, and when the attention is more on that which is infinite and yet, performing in this world of relativity, then you will never be disillusioned by anything. Then even our thought forces are channeled in such a way that come what may, for that too is a way. And how much am I not learning from it? My girlfriend jilted me. Okay, fine. I am learning something from it. It helps me to dive deep within myself. It helps me to examine my thoughts. It helps me, it aids me in my evolution. It aids me in my unfoldment. As I have said before, there is an opportunity in every adversity. Or like the other saying, there is a silver lining in every cloud. So, where is the place for disillusionment? We are deluding ourselves. We believe we are disillusioned, and as a result, we feel miserable. Why do we think we are disillusioned? It is due to the instability of the mind and the lack of strength. It is a weakness of the mind.
I will tell you a story. In Cape Town, I had to take the bus, which was about half a mile away from the office. There was something wrong with the car, and it was in the garage. So, I had to take a bus. On a Saturday afternoon, work until about four or five o’clock, and the streets get deserted. At that time, people are all gone home or whatever, and the shops in Cape Town close at one o’clock. Not like here, where they are open twenty-four hours a day. I was walking down an empty street, and three thugs came up to me, and one pulled out a knife and said, “Give me all your money.” That was the very last thirty rands I had in my pocket, and I knew I had some bills to pay. So, I said, “Here, take my watch as well.” I gave them the watch. Then they ran up the road, and I shouted to them, “Hey, you have forgotten my pen.” Beautiful pen, golden one, Parker, that was given to me as a gift. And those three thugs came back to me and gave me back my money and my watch, and they said in Afrikaans, he is a different kind of man. Do you see? I was not disappointed or disillusioned because my last thirty dollars were gone; I was able to buy food for the family and pay the bills, as you cannot always charge it.
Talking of charging it, this little Willy went with his mother to a shop, and the salesclerk gave little Willy a candy, a sweet. So, the mother says, “What must you say, Willy?” So, Willy replied immediately, “Charge it.”
THERE IS EVERYTHING TO GAIN FROM EVERY EXPERIENCE WE GO THROUGH
So let us charge our lives with those thoughts of optimism, perhaps, if you would like to start there. And optimism begins by saying, come what may, I am prepared for anything, and there is only one certainty in life that you can be sure of, and that is death. So, in between, what are you worried about? If that is going to be the end of this little existence, so what? Of course, mine and everyone’s spirit is immortal.
These changes occur. All these changes are there all the time. Everything is changing, changing, changing, all the time. And I allow those changes to happen. Because I accept them, and therefore, I am not disappointed or disillusioned. It is okay to fall, but you are a man if you can stand up again and hold your head high. So, courage comes into the picture, along with optimism, steadfastness, and determination for anything one requires in life. And if it does not happen, you are okay. You do not feel bad about it. You do not feel lost. Why? What is there to lose? Nothing. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain from any experience we go through. And this requires a degree of innocence within us.
Innocence is like a little child. To be childlike. A child does not expect to go and drive in a Rolls-Royce. He would like to take a little drive, even if it were a little mini motor car. But, yes, we grown-ups with our minds want to drive the Rolls-Royce, but not the child. The child just cares about the ride, and we are all on this ride of life together. We are all just riding, and where are you going? You do not know. Where have you come from? You do not know. But you know you are here.
But with that knowledge, where does that answer come from that I am here? And what makes me be here? Is it this body, or is it a higher force that makes me be here? Because once that force, the vital force, is gone, you are dead. Then you are nowhere, neither here nor there.
So, I am here, that is true. But I am not going to recognize my here and now solely through my mind and my five senses: seeing, touching, feeling, smelling, and hearing. That is not the criterion, for that gets me nowhere. That will only bring disillusionment. You get pleased if you see a beautiful scene, and you get displeased if you do not. You are happy because it was such a lovely ride on the boat this afternoon, but if that lake were choppy, you would say, Ah, terrible. Where does the smooth ride or the choppy ride come from, and who interprets it? Your mind interprets it.
If it is a choppy ride, I would say, “Ah, this is nice, I am on the merry-go-round.” You know those roller coasters that go up and down? So, if the lake was choppy and the boat was swaying to and fro, I would say, “Ah, this is lovely, I am getting a roller coaster on a boat. Is that not fun?”
TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT AND DISILLUSIONMENT, WE HAVE TO CHANGE OUR ATTITUDE
We have to change our mental attitude if we want to avoid disappointment and disillusionment. For everything that happens, to repeat, is for our good. If a girlfriend jilts me, as I said just now, okay, let her. She might have found someone better. His name could be Paul, Peter, John, Jack, who cares? But I am still me, here. She has run away, but I am not going to run away, and if I do run away, what am I going to run away from? From life, or circumstance? Why should I escape? I do not flee into misery. If I have to escape, I will escape into an understanding that all this, too, is good for me. Something must have been in my past or present karma that brought this about. We have got to have an open mind.
Disillusionment is the most incredible illusion. Disillusionment is a negative channeling of our minds, for nothing is truly real. But reality has specific values, and if we accept that these things are changing, fine. But I, the real I, will never change.
… Gururaj Ananda Yogi: Satsang US 1983 – 03
