OUR BURDENS ARE NINE-TENTHS IMAGINARY
Everyone wants to become so important in life, and all that importance is imaginary. Why do they want to be important? Because then they can express that ego that they have brought with them. Instead of deflating the ego, they want to inflate it. How many people are hurt in the process of inflating the ego? When others are injured, it must rebound back on you because you are responsible. It is nice to be necessary, but more important, to be nice. These are such simple home truths. If we are nice to people, we do not need to pretend. We only need to know that there is Divinity in everything, and automatically, we become nice. You must add the “n” to the “ice” and how warm you will glow. We carry these burdens; nine-tenths are imaginary. If you study fear, for example, you will find that nine to ten percent of your fears are imaginary. You fear things that might never happen, and you try repeating those fears to yourself repeatedly. You are going to make them happen.
Things might have a logical order: two and two make for two, and two make eight. We can work in a rational manner, which is fine. However, rationales do not work logically. By accepting ourselves as responsible for developing the power of discrimination, we eliminate the burden we carry, and that burden is nine-tenths imaginary. What would be the worst that could happen if it was not nine-tenths? What is the worst? You will only die, and there is no death. It is another subject we can talk about. There is no death. What have you come with, and what will you take with you? Like that, it goes unnecessary burdens.
Let me tell you this story. A very tall lady was six foot three, and she had a boyfriend who was five foot three, perhaps five foot two and a half. They used to go out in the evenings, and she lived a mile from the bus terminal. So, they used to get off at the bus terminal, and he used to walk her home the mile. One night, he tells her, “My love, allow me to kiss you.” He is so short that he constantly needs a stool. Here, they passed an abandoned blacksmith’s shop. So, he got onto the anvil, and he kissed his girl. Nothing wrong with that. One of the finest things invented, if you know how to kiss. Two souls become one, where the prana in two bodies intermingle to such a level of refinement that the bodies are lost, and only the prana remains. That is kissing. That is a different subject. Never mind. So, this chap gets on top of the anvil and kisses the girl, and after that, they start walking again. They were nearly home, and he said, “Honey, can I kiss you again,” with such pleading eyes. She says, “No once a night is enough.” Then he says, “Oh, what is the use of carrying this anvil with me?”
Yes, we all carry these anvils around, but those imaginary burdens and burdens also have other aspects. One of the most significant aspects is expectation. This chap was expecting to kiss his girl again. Therefore, he carried that heavy anvil with him. Expectation is the father of disappointment, and disappointment is the mother of suffering. What a marriage.
RESPONSIBILITY PLAYS A BIG PART IN SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Expectation is the father of disappointment, and disappointment is the mother of suffering. Because one expects so much from life, that one comes to disappointments. There would be no disappointment if there were no expectations in the first place. It is better to live life from day to day. That does not mean that you do not have any ambitions or any plans in life. It does not mean that, but it means undue expectations. I know of a young man who bought a lottery ticket two or three weeks before the lottery was to be drawn, and every day, his mind was on that lottery ticket. He could not concentrate on his work; he was irritable at home, expecting, “Ah, here is something going to come for me”, but it never came, and he felt so discouraged. He invested a pound in buying this lottery ticket, and when he did not get fifty thousand for it, he was so disappointed. He cried. His wife had to phone me. She said, “My husband is in a terrible state. What must I do with him?” I said, “Get him on to the bloody phone.”
Undue expectations. I expect to be loved by someone. What right have I got to hope that? I expect you to love me. What right have I got to expect that? Why not live my life so your love for me will automatically and spontaneously materialise? Being responsible is so important; it plays a significant part in self-acceptance. And to be oneself, whether one is a prince or a pauper, is a joy in itself.
Do you know there is such great joy in being a pauper? I remember running away from home once. I came to Bombay with nowhere to stay, slept on the beach for three nights, and then thought I had to find some food, so I went to ask for work in a little restaurant. I said, “Look, I do not want any pay; just give me a plate of food; I am prepared to work.” It was quite a good bargain for an Indian businessman. Meanwhile, it was such a joy to wash those dishes. I thought, “Oh Lord, you are giving me the opportunity, the privilege of washing someone else’s dishes.” How beautiful. Perhaps it is one way of serving humanity. I knew that because I was not going to get paid for it. The job lasted three days. The health authorities came along and would not allow me to sleep on the tables after closing the restaurant. I was back on the beach. But now, if I had the expectations there that “Ah, I am going to be treated well, and perhaps the owner of the restaurant will make me live at his home”, and if I were to build up this fantasy world as people build up all the time, I would have been hurt. Expectation!
If we can live our lives responsibly where we are, then we can accept ourselves, and when we can accept ourselves, we can accept everything in life. We can take every circumstance in life, and nothing can produce unhappiness. Because nothing ever produces unhappiness in us. We create unhappiness in us. The rest around us is a play, a film show.
Many people go to see a play, and a tragedy is happening, and they start sobbing over the tragedy they observe. They get so emotionally involved with the play that they start crying. Why? Because an identification occurs between their subjective self and that which is objective. That is a good thing, at a level of development where everything is oneness. Where I laugh, your laughter and where I cry your tears. But this is not that. This is a projection, an identification. That is why these James Bond films were so popular and successful: the man sitting there identifies himself with that man up there, Sean Connery, bang, bang, bang.
It is projection, and projection causes us suffering. Businesspeople have found this formula that helps you project yourself into things and circumstances you are not. The whole world is conditioned that way. Why do you use a particular brand of soap powder? Is that brand better than another brand? No, it is because it is thrown to you in the newspapers, Telly, and all the advertising media. My apologies to any advertising people here. That X, Y, Z soap is good. It is good and the best. Every soap is the best; that is what they say. Like cinema advertisements. Do you know which is the best film? The one that is playing next week. That is what the trailer says.
WE ARE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OURSELVES FOR EVERY ACTION
We unnecessarily subject ourselves to outside influences because we have not accepted ourselves – because we do not assume responsibility for ourselves. It is because we do not want to stand on our own feet. We always expect to be carried. By all means, be taken, but also know that that will have its reactions. You do not get carried for nothing. You have to pay. Do you see how simple it is?
With a sense of acceptance and a sense of responsibility within ourselves, we develop discrimination. We develop devotion when we create these qualities to a greater or a lesser degree. Devotion is not necessarily to one’s children, wife, husband or guru, but just a general sense of devotion develops where we become devoted to everything we do. When we wash the dishes in the kitchen, we are devoted to that washing. There is an innocence which gives joy. So, devotion is another name for the expression of pleasure. It is a beautiful feeling that develops within us. With a sense of responsibility and discrimination, every action we perform becomes a joyous action. If we want to build this general sense of devotion to a finer level, we direct it from the general sense to a particular one. This is very, very necessary. Focusing on joy, mental, or physical energies is good. To find optimum, maximum results in anything in life, we have to have that focus, and that is why you are taught, Tratak, how to focus and gather all those energies into one point.
To focus on that devotion or to channel that devotion, we start with what is nearest to us, perhaps. All that general devotion can be crystallised in our wives or husbands. But one has to remember one thing: that devotion does not mean leaning on. Devotion does not mean weakness. Devotion means independence, and to love independently, to be devoted to someone not because we need that someone but to be committed for the sake of devotion because devotion is an expression of our inner self. Devotion is that joy that wells up from the opening of the heart, and we feel devoted. I am sitting here, feeling devoted to you in its absolute sense. I will repeat this three times, in its absolute sense, in its absolute sense, in its absolute sense. If you are ill now, I will come and clean your backsides for you; I feel so devoted because it expresses the joy within me in practical service. There is no need, but there is a devotion, a love. It is an expression of the flower that expresses its fragrance. When the mother suckles the baby, milk pours naturally in abundance for the child. It is an expression. That is why we say the mother expresses the milk. It is a natural, spontaneous act to know that I am responsible for myself and accountable for my actions, and if I can refine my actions and bring them to a holy level, then I know the meaning of joy. Then, I know that once I have that joy and am established in that joy, there will be no disappointments for me. There will be no hurt for me.
Never mind how much others try to hurt you, but you stand firm as the rock, and nothing hurts. Let the waves of the world smite that rock night and day, day and night, but the rock stands firm, established in its joy, established within itself. Then, devotion becomes automatic. It is not something acquired, “Oh, I am devoted to my guru.” I do not want it if it does not come naturally from you. I am not doing business with you. Love is no business. Love is an interchange where little, little, little hearts, perhaps, merge into one big, gigantic universal heart. That is God. As Dante said, “The greater the man, the greater his love.” And that is what everyone has to aspire for if he accepts responsibility for himself. That is how devotion grows of its own accord. I would like to see anyone rushing the growth of a blade of grass. You just cannot do it. You might help it by adding fertiliser, and what have you; if you put too much fertiliser, you might even kill it. Like tea, two teaspoons of sugar are fine, but try putting in four, then you cannot drink the tea; it is too sweet, like everything in life has its place. Everything should become as natural as possible. We are not to carry imaginary burdens. We are to be responsible for ourselves for every action.
AS DEVOTION DEVELOPS, IT TURNS INTO LOVE FOR THE SAKE OF LOVING WITHOUT THE NEED
This devotion is also something we call love, and nobody can create love. As you cannot create devotion, you cannot make love. You are playing games then. That devotion is just a game, and most people play these games because of their needs, insecurity, and inadequacy, which they should not feel because that is imaginary. Why must a person think that they are inadequate? If one typist does eighty words a minute, and another does forty words a minute, why must the forty words feel insufficient because the other one is doing eighty? What right has she to compare herself to the one that does eighty words a minute? No, be satisfied with that forty. Try to increase it if you can by practising more excellently. Why should she feel inadequate? She is a junior typist, so why must she compare herself to a senior typist? “I am a junior, fine. Good, and I get a junior’s wage, and that is okay with me. To become a senior, I must practice and study more.”
We are always trying to compare, compare, compare. But the only thing we do not try to compare ourselves with is ourselves, always with someone higher. Sometimes, when a person makes so many mistakes, they try to compare themselves with someone else. This boy was not so good; he used to run after one girl, then the other girl, then the other girl and all like that. So I said, “Listen, young man, I do not mind what you do. You are responsible for your life, but if you could become more one-pointed, instead of scattering all your energies, if you become more one-pointed, it could benefit you more, it could evolve you better, it could open yourself more, become more evolved, become more refined, have finer feelings because of that one-pointedness.” So, he tells me, “I am not doing so badly, you know, John and Jack and Tom, they do it more.” He was comparing himself with those who were not better than himself. “I only go out with different girls three times a week, while John goes out six times a week.” Justification: do you see how we justify ourselves for our wrong acts? By having self-acceptance, which develops into devotion, we do not go in for idle justifications. We compare ourselves to those above us when we feel insecure and inadequate. We use this little mind in such a cunning way to suit our convenience at times like that.
I know someone who told me, “Ah, you are such a lovely man.” Good, but when it was convenient for her, she said, you are a guru. So, when it is convenient, I am a man; when it is convenient the other way, I am a guru. You find these things, using even the guru as a convenience. We use everything in life as a convenience and not as its actual value or justification, this way or that way.
As this devotion develops, it becomes love for the sake of loving without need. Most people have specific needs in life. They need to love, for example. But that need not to be needless. A more excellent value could be added to that need by not thinking of oneself only but by combining the needs of the other with your needs and making it a beautiful need. If you only think of your needs, then it is one-sided, and anything one-sided is never excellent. But let that need of mine be combined with the need of another to make it a mutual need. That is the first step until we reach the stage where one even goes beyond interdependence.
SURRENDER IS A NATURAL OUTCOME OF THE MERGENCE OF TWO HEARTS
First dependence, then interdependence, and you go to a stage that goes beyond interdependence, and that state is the state where man and woman become so at one, where there is no division anymore. There is no division in the vision. One vision. Everyone can reach that stage, and when that stage is reached, one knows the meaning of surrender. For surrender is not an act done with the mind, that “I surrender myself to such and such.” You have gurus in this world who talk only about surrender, and of course, the first thing you have to surrender to them is the wallet in your pocket.
Surrender is a natural outcome of the mergence of two hearts. That is surrender. That is the culmination of spiritual progress, not the beginning where the guru says, “Look, you surrender everything you got to me, your wives, your children, your wealth, your everything.” You do not start with surrender. Surrender is the culmination, where nothing is needed but where two hearts beat as one. That is the guru-chela relationship, where no division exists between the guru and the chela. It is just one heart beating in two bodies, perhaps and yet even the two bodies become unnoticeable when the bodies fall away.
I have told you about acceptance and how, with a sense of responsibility, discrimination, etc., one finds devotion, which is a natural growth. The tree grows, and the fruit is the surrender.
“THY WILL BE DONE,” THE SECRET OF LIFE
Everything is natural; no forcing, no act of will. Act of will is a discipline in the beginning stages. All these practices, and all these things we discuss and talk about, are nothing but preparation for that moment of illumination, which, in other words, is to surrender itself. You are surrendered unto the light. You are illumined. You have become one with the light. We use the great Teachers that have existed, Krishna, Buddha, Christ, and Mahavir, as symbols or focal points to focus our attention. We surrender to Divinity, not to the embodiment. The embodiment is only a channel, like I always say, a hollow reed with a couple of holes drilled in it and Divinity blows its infinite Divine melodies through this reed. So even a hollow reed can become so helpful that it can be converted into a flute, and if that can be done, what cannot be done with the human being created in God’s image?
Every human being is a personalised God in his own right. It is perhaps unrealised, but he is a personification of God. We do not necessarily accept blind faith but take the guidance we listen to. There must be some reasoning, some logic, even if it is illogical logic. There must be some reasonableness in the acceptance.
So, although each and everyone in his own right is potentially Divine and personified God, and because we have not reached that stage of realisation to know that “I am that I am,” we take the guidance and advice of the person that has known, that has experienced, that lives that “I am that I am.” And to merge with such a person is to surrender. But not by an act of will- not by acting, not by playing, not by assuming, not by imagining, but a natural growth of that beautiful love into that oneness, where another does not exist anymore. And then this whole world becomes such a play, a lovely dream, no nightmares, all pleasant in that oneness. That is acceptance, that is devotion, that is surrender, the culmination. Then only will we understand the true meaning of the words “Thy Will be Done.” We hear these words daily, but we do not know the value of those simple words, “Thy Will be Done.” Four words: the secret of life. Beautiful.
… Gururaj Ananda Yogi: Satsang UK 1979 – 02
